ASTON MARTIN and SILVER CROSS PRAM - £2,000

I had to wait MONTHS after birth to get an Aston Martin. Same goes for my afterbirth. And even then, my parents just re-gifted my placenta a 6-year-old Vantage we got as a gag gift for my hamster. (He's a Maserati Snob)

But your little Baby Sunshine doesn't have to wait at all. This baby buggy costs more than your maid's VW Beetle, and according to the specs is "suitable from birth>. Your baby will arrive into the world in style, and his s#it won't stink, because you'll be overpowered by the scent of finished, 100% pure Alcantara® leather. Granted, he'll have no memory of owning this, living in it, literally sh!tting gold in it. But that's not what's important, is it? What's important is to instill in him, if only subconsciously, a sense of betterness.

Available at Harrods. Because of course it is.